The New Red Scare- Liz Graves

At this very moment, somewhere in the universe...

someone else is also getting a ton of crap for having red hair. They are getting comments like, "Gingers have no soul," and "Wow, you are so pale," and "There's that red-headed temper again," or, my personal favorite, "Did your head get caught in a lawn mower and that's why your hair looks like that?" (8th grade was a particularly rough year). To that someone who is/has experienced the same amount of teasing I have been forced to endure, I present to you this statistic: natural red heads now make up about 4% of the total world population. We, my friend, are part of an elite group that was blessed with fiery locks of the sun. Our tempers are infamous, which means no one will ever be brave enough to cross us. Those red streaks they see are the blood of our enemies. We were born with an air of brooding mystery, which means we are just inherently bad-a**.  Chin up, comrade, because all the mocking we brave is born out of jealousy. Just look at the millions of people who try to achieve the same hair color and have only a garish red to show for it. It is time for us to become leaders, to show the world that blondes don't have more fun, and brunettes, well, they're just boring. We are not a dying breed, we are a generation of saviors. Stand with me, brothers and sisters, and proudly wave your hair back and forth.