Asignment 8 Rick Marino

Fears: Grizzly Bears, Heights, Opossums, Steve Buscemi
Annoyances: Small Talk, Unintelligent Conversations, Bland Tasting Food
Accomplishments: Rap Battle King of Kentucky( jk :) , it sounded more interesting than a cliché answer like good grades)
Confusions: Our Entire Existence
Sorrows: Unending Bipolar Cycle between Laziness and Perfectionist
Dreams: Travel the World
Idiosyncrasies: Silly Jokes, Funny Walks
Risks: I want to battle with a katana. Also, a pistol duel would be cool. I just don't know how to do either without someone dying
Beloved Possessions: Food and Video Games(Then), Music (now)
Problems: Procrastination

This is a short story, sort of in a mold of Kurt Vonnegut-esque ideas from his science fiction stories. My story is about one of my annoyances, Small Talk, and its sudden absence in the human race-

To whom it may concern,
I  hail from a race of beams of light, a group of all knowing, forever existing beings. This may be difficult to comprehend, but everything in the universe has already happened.  All matter, all existence has been sprawled out in a great buffet of time. The problem is that creatures of the universe can only exist at one station of the buffet of time. As a beam of light, I can pick and choose from the buffet of time as a please. Because I can view the buffet from afar, I prefer to experience the more pleasurable and tasty stations of time. However, at the moment, I am writing to sober myself and remind my fellow beams that there are dismal stations at the buffet too. I will tell the story of the downfall of the human race. Man was once a progressive and promising creature. Even though it was drowning in its own ego, the race was on pace to catch up with the intellectual and technological abilities of the other species in the universe in a couple of thousand of years. Here's the story:

The year is 2099. The place was Earth, home to the humans, a baby race in the grand scheme of things. Humans loved themselves. And for good reasons. In just about 200 years, they had gone form horses and buggies to flying cars, artificial intelligence, inhabitance of other planets, and even a primitive form of teleportation. Bring into the situation Gerald Gadget. Only 22 years of age, Gerald was quite possibly the most intelligent being to exist in the Milky Way Galaxy. Albert Einstein of a century and a half earlier possessed the brain power of a mere house cat compared the the greatness of Gerald. Gerald was completely human, however he was carefully crafted by robots. He was created to be the perfect human being. Raised by his robot creators and he held the maximum knowledge a human could possess. Gerald remained inside the dwelling of his robot caretakers for entirety of his childhood. He grew as any other child would, physically at least. Instead of ice cream and hamburgers and spaghetti, he was fed genetically modified morsels of cabbage that were generated in the stomach cavities of his mechanical parents. Instead of going to tradition school, where kids gathered and communicated like packs of fish, wires were hooked up to his brain, feeding him the truths of the universe. If the game show Jeopardy asked him to be a contestant, he would have drained all their money. When Gerald turned 18, he was released by his robot parents into the outside world. Gerald was neither sad, nor happy, nor depressed, nor ecstatic, nor scared. Due to his upbringing, he could not feel or perceive any human emotion at all.....




That was the beginning of my short story. I was going to keep going and talk about how Gerald didn't comprehend small talk and he created a device where all humans knew each other thoughts without speaking. Some humans didn't implant the device in their brain and they revolted and it led to the end of all humans and stuff. But explaining everything in detail would have taken too long. So yeah...