harry potter and the chamber of self loathing: rachael gilbert

good and evil have little place in this world; we rarely (if ever) see anyone or anything that truly exemplifies these characteristics. take, for example, two characters that are in your very prompt: harry and voldemort. neither of them are truly good or evil. though harry ultimately does the right thing, he does them for the wrong reasons. harry has only ever wished for one thing, a family, and voldemort took that away from him. he does not commit these grand act of heroism simply because they are “the right thing to do” but rather because he wants to avenge his parents. (reference the fifth harry potter book which states “harry imagined for a moment pulling the unforgivable curse on bellatrix, watching her suffer as sirius had. he wanted her dead.” or even further on into “deathly hallows”, in which harry comments “i’ve got to kill him, ron wouldn’t understand, he has parents. i have to make him pay.”). the thoughts and feelings harry has are by no means good but they do make him a more dynamic character and one that we can ultimately relate to (which is kinda the whole point of reading to begin with). furthermore, although what voldemort does  is evil, he himself is not. voldemort (like all of us) is composed of a vast array of emotions, none of which are inherently evil. he commits the acts he does because he does not feel loved, he’s never had a place to feel at home. no one to listen to his fears or wants or needs. he feels the need for power because he sees power as the only way to achieve happiness; and if violence is the only way to achieve power thus violence is the only way to achieve happiness. (i might be reading too much into this (as i tend to do) but i’ve found a deeper connection with voldemort the more i read the series). good and evil do not exit anywhere in harry potter (at least not at the extremes). characters are spread out across the spectrum, each living and dying for a cause that is at times both just and unjust (further examples include draco malfoy and his need for approval but his ultimate adversion to violence, dumbledore and his effort to win the war at any cost (even if it involves raising a boy as “a pig for slaughter”, etc.).

i could go on and rant further about harry potter (because most of us know i do that 90% of the time anyway) but i think it’s also important to carry this thought into our own lives:

i am a flawed human being.

i lie, and loose my temper, i can be horribly mean when i want to be. i am brutally honest and unapologetic in my actions (this is the nice way of saying that i am a bit of an asshole). that does not make me evil. those actions or character traits or whatever do not sum up who i am as a person. they are important but they are not all of who i am. like voldemort or javier or jack torrance i am not wholly one characteristic or another. rather i am (and i believe we all are) a fractured compilation of love and hate, good and evil. imagining people as simply one characteristic (ex. thinking voldemort is only evil) devalues their impact and ultimately their meaning. i am more than an little bit of an asshole: i am also a bit of a romantic. more basically, i am more than just you’re student just as you are more than simply my teacher. these simple labels (whether they are good and evil or teacher and student) hurt all people involved. they make us believe that we are the only beings capable of complex emotion.

this can manifest itself in several ways. at times it can cause narcissism but more often than not i feel that these simple labels isolate us. at times i believe myself to be the only one capable of doubt or fear. that those around me do not experience loneliness or self-hatred. this is not true. we all feel these things, but by convincing ourselves that everyone else is just “good” or “evil” we fail to see this. we’re afraid to reach out for help and that just exacerbates those emotions of loneliness. at a different level, it’s also easier to imagine others this way. labeling voldemort as “evil” is much easier than accepting that what he was is hidden inside all of us. it’s easier to believe that what he did were the actions of a mad man, rather than a person we ourselves could be.

            we see a great deal of violence in our own world but i refuse to believe that it is because evil is just inherent. misunderstanding and prejudice and timing and personal situations breed hatred and violence, evil does not. in the same way, hope and love can breed goodness but one person will never be entirely good or evil. there is more than those two nouns. there is more to this world and your best friend and even yourself than those two nouns. trying to define yourself or others or the world with them will do you no good.