Assignment 20 -- Andrew Thompson

How to trick people into thinking you have you life in order:

1.) Put some spices or something in some jars. Forget the functional plastic containers they come in, we are in the game to impress. Line them up on some cabinet that is too high to reach and ta-da, this man knows whats up. I don't actually know what cumin tastes like, but I have a jar of it nest to the paprika.

2.) Hide your nasty toothbrush. Take the things you actually use in the bathroom and out them in the cupboard then take all of the things you never use out and display them. These items will mostly include hand creams stolen from hotel rooms.

3.) Put a hardcover book by your bed with a book mark in it. Doesn't actually matter what book, as long as it looks impressive. I have been on page 792 of Infinite Jest for 6 months now. I have no clue what that book is about.

4.) Demonstrate you can keep something alive. A potted plant. A gold fish. Doesn't matter. As long as it's sentient.

5.) Overwhelm people with an outrageous variety of tea. Chamomile, earl grey, elderberry, lemon, mandarin, jasmine, lemon grass, peppermint, and green. Just make up the first 7 or so and then end with the ones you actually have. They'll have forgotten the others by then.