TOOTHPASTE
shuffles in from stage right walking towards TOOTHBRUSH, he’s obviously been
used many times and the tube is scrunched up in various places, the cap is
missing and now toothpaste (resembling a beard) has dried around the edges of
the tube. TOOTHBRUSH is new and completely unused, she stands tall and proud in
the corner.
TOOTHPASTE
(sighs, in his best old man voice) You again eh?
I thought you’d be down at The Kitchen Sink, isn’t that where all you youngin’s
spend your time? At that new jazz place downtown?
TOOTHBRUSH
(giggles, in falsetto voice resembling a woman’s New
York accent in the 40s) No, today’s Thursday, we don’t go out till Friday can’t you get your schedule straight?
Must be that old brain of yours (laughs)
TOOTHPASTE
(sarcastically)
My mistake…Madam (snorts)
TOOTHBRUSH
Although a
new Swiffer just rolled into town, maybe he’ll take me dancing tonight (appears
thoughtful)
TOOTHPASTE
(rolls eyes)
TOOTHBRUSH
Hey, why
you got to be so mean anyway? It’s not like I ever did anything to you, but
your always off feelin’ sorry for yourself. My, you could practically fill up
the bathroom sink with those tears.
TOOTHPASTE
(gestures
towards face, imitates The Joker) Do you want to know how I got these scars?
The bathroom isn’t some playground or
dance hall it’s a warzone. And every
day we have to go into battle. Every goddamn day we’re worn down and beaten.
Until you’re a shell, nothing but a broken body for testament to who you once
were. And then what happens huh? You think the humans are going to bury you do you think they’ll provide a
service? Buy you roses?
Not in a
million years.
They use
you up, ask you to give all you can and then they toss you away like you were
nothing. Like all you were was a thing.
They’re monsters.
TOOTHBRUSH
Now I’m
sure that’s not true, the humans have to care for me. They use me every mornin’
and every evenin’ like clockwork. I even have my own special shelf right up on
the sink.
TOOTHPASTE
I thought
like you once, I used to think that I could never be beat. But now look at me
(defeated) I don’t have much toothpaste left, soon I’ll be abandoned too.
TOOTHBRUSH
But surely
you don’t know that for sure
TOOTHPASTE
(yells) I’ve
seen it happen! (whispers) I’ve seen it happen.
Back in
the day I was like you, I was fresh out of the box, still had my cap and
everything. The world was new and fresh and so different from the factory that
I’d been born in. And then a met her. She was a fine toothbrush, Crest, and her
brushes were this deep blue, the way you’d imagine the ocean would look. Oh how
I loved her, and she loved me. We’d lay on the counter and count the ceiling
tiles at night the way all couples do. But then she started to get tired, her
bristles began to age but I still loved her. I suppose they didn’t.
(pauses,
and takes a breath, you can tell he’s holding back tears)
I watched
as they threw her away! I heard her crying for me for days but I couldn’t reach
her. I…I couldn’t save her.
Silence for a few moments as both
reflect on the conversation
TOOTHPASTE
But don’t
let me spoil your fun, I’ll be gone in a week anyways.
TOOTHBRUSH
(pauses
for a moment in awkward silence, doesn’t know if she should comfort the old man
or leave for her dance date with the Swiffer. Finally she exits)
Scene
gradually fades to black, focusing on the now lonely Toothpaste. Faint jazz
music can be heard from below.
I LOVE THIS
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