Tuesday, November 10, 2015

A Toothpate Tragedy (the unoffical screenplay) written and directed by: rachael gilbert


TOOTHPASTE shuffles in from stage right walking towards TOOTHBRUSH, he’s obviously been used many times and the tube is scrunched up in various places, the cap is missing and now toothpaste (resembling a beard) has dried around the edges of the tube. TOOTHBRUSH is new and completely unused, she stands tall and proud in the corner.

TOOTHPASTE

(sighs, in his best old man voice) You again eh? I thought you’d be down at The Kitchen Sink, isn’t that where all you youngin’s spend your time? At that new jazz place downtown?

TOOTHBRUSH

(giggles, in falsetto voice resembling a woman’s New York accent in the 40s) No, today’s Thursday, we don’t go out till Friday can’t you get your schedule straight? Must be that old brain of yours (laughs)

TOOTHPASTE

(sarcastically) My mistake…Madam (snorts)

TOOTHBRUSH

Although a new Swiffer just rolled into town, maybe he’ll take me dancing tonight (appears thoughtful)

TOOTHPASTE


(rolls eyes)

TOOTHBRUSH

Hey, why you got to be so mean anyway? It’s not like I ever did anything to you, but your always off feelin’ sorry for yourself. My, you could practically fill up the bathroom sink with those tears.

TOOTHPASTE

(gestures towards face, imitates The Joker) Do you want to know how I got these scars? The bathroom isn’t some playground or dance hall it’s a warzone. And every day we have to go into battle. Every goddamn day we’re worn down and beaten. Until you’re a shell, nothing but a broken body for testament to who you once were. And then what happens huh? You think the humans are going to bury you do you think they’ll provide a service? Buy you roses?

Not in a million years.

They use you up, ask you to give all you can and then they toss you away like you were nothing. Like all you were was a thing. They’re monsters.

TOOTHBRUSH

Now I’m sure that’s not true, the humans have to care for me. They use me every mornin’ and every evenin’ like clockwork. I even have my own special shelf right up on the sink.

TOOTHPASTE

I thought like you once, I used to think that I could never be beat. But now look at me (defeated) I don’t have much toothpaste left, soon I’ll be abandoned too.

TOOTHBRUSH

But surely you don’t know that for sure

TOOTHPASTE

(yells) I’ve seen it happen! (whispers) I’ve seen it happen.

Back in the day I was like you, I was fresh out of the box, still had my cap and everything. The world was new and fresh and so different from the factory that I’d been born in. And then a met her. She was a fine toothbrush, Crest, and her brushes were this deep blue, the way you’d imagine the ocean would look. Oh how I loved her, and she loved me. We’d lay on the counter and count the ceiling tiles at night the way all couples do. But then she started to get tired, her bristles began to age but I still loved her. I suppose they didn’t.

(pauses, and takes a breath, you can tell he’s holding back tears)

I watched as they threw her away! I heard her crying for me for days but I couldn’t reach her. I…I couldn’t save her.

            Silence for a few moments as both reflect on the conversation

TOOTHPASTE

But don’t let me spoil your fun, I’ll be gone in a week anyways.

TOOTHBRUSH

(pauses for a moment in awkward silence, doesn’t know if she should comfort the old man or leave for her dance date with the Swiffer. Finally she exits)

Scene gradually fades to black, focusing on the now lonely Toothpaste. Faint jazz music can be heard from below.

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