fall (an attempt at satire)- Rachel Roberts

Fall. That weird place holder between summer and winter. What can be seen as an underserved season, especially around Thanksgiving since the whole world seems to be rushing towards Christmas. But don't fret, I have figured out a way to make this short season last! Pumpkin. That's right, pumpkin. After a recent trip to Kroger, I saw only a minimal amount of pumpkin flavored foods. So here is my 10 step plan to make fall last with pumpkin:

1.) From September 20th to December 1st you MUST have AT LEAST seven pumpkins on your front porch. This is tell the world that you are SO EXCITED IT'S FALL AND IT'S JUST THE BEST SEASON EVER!
2.) Only wear fall colors. You may ONLY wear red, orange (especially orange, that's the most important color), yellow and brown sweaters, paired with your basic black leggings and tan riding boots. Now you dress the part.
3.) You MUST buy a Pumpkin Spice Latte from your Lord and Savior Starbucks at least once a day. During these months you worship Starbucks because they have the best lattes.
4.) Instagram  every fall outfit you wear and every single Pumpkin Spice Latte you get.
5.) Only eat pumpkin flavored food and drinks. All the essential foodstuffs you need have been luckily made in pumpkin flavor, like Pop Tarts, cupcakes, pies, cookies, and lattes. That pretty much covers all the food groups, so you will be so healthy as well.
6.) Those tiny pumpkins you made crafts out on in elementary school? Replace your apples and bananas with those. Just eat those like you would an apple, pretty much the same thing.
7.) Get creative with your cooking and add pumpkin to every single dish you make. Your whole family will love it.
8.) We've all seen those fancy detox waters on Pinterest with all the fruits and herbs, right? Well now you get to make pumpkin detox water! Just fill a glass half way full of water, add a handful of ice and then a handful of pumpkin goop! Very refreshing.
9.) Paint your walls a lovely pumpkin orange color. This color goes with everything, so go ahead and accent your home with leaves and more pumpkins!
10.) Be sure to tell all your friend and family fall is your favorite season repeatedly and give them anything and everything pumpkin flavored, you can convert them to being a fall lover such as yourself!