Assignment 13 (I apologize if I offended you) -Emily Sandford

Due to the surge in holiday spirits Starbucks will ditch their current holiday cups for something more suitable, a gradient cup from pure godly white to unholy satanic red. The white will be adorned with Jesus on a cloud surrounded by money, and happiness to emphasize the only holiday in the season. The red will be adorned by the one and only Satan surrounded by the darkest and most depressing things that should stay in Hell, student debts, and making your own doctor appointments. Statistics have shown that the Christian elite have been unhappy with the red to cranberry cup over the fact that it lacks in Holiday identifying features like snow, “Merry Chirstmas”, and even a Christmas tree.

We originally planned on placing a more Hanukkah theme on to these cups and then realized that it wouldn’t soothe the sea of raging Starbucks go’ers.

We hope that you enjoy your new cup and we apologize to those who don’t like this new cup, not everyone can be happy.

For your viewing pleasure we have included a rough draft of the changes.