Dear Abby: How do I get famous? Hye Jee Kim

Welcoooooome back! You're listening to 88.7, the station that just won't quit. I'm Abby, and this is my radio show, Dear Abby, where I answer all of your questions. If you want your questions answered on next week's show, send them by carrier pigeon to 1000 Street Road.

Dear Abby, I really want to get famous, but I have no specific talents. What do you think I should do?

Donna, 

Buffalo, New York

Thanks for your question Donna. Wanting to be famous is incredibly common, and something to be proud of. now, you're lucky to be living in a time where talent is completely unnecessary to gain fame and prestige. However, it will be incredibly hard work, and you must never stop until you achieve your goal. 

I first piece of advice is this: Advertise yourself 24/7. Talk about yourself, and only yourself all of the time. When you see people in the street, offer them a picture or an autograph. This way you can get your name out. Plus, you'll seem incredibly generous to the public, as you are sharing yourself with them. 

Secondly, you need something that will make you stand out. Don't worry, this doesn't necessarily have to be talent. If you have a rich father, or have an affair with a celebrity, you are well on your way to having your own reality show. 

If that's impossible, post an inflammatory post on Facebook. You'll at least get 15 minutes of fame on Buzzfeed.

Oh! I almost forgot the most important thing. It is absolutely crucial that you have the "look". Now, that "look" is incredibly easy to achieve, and isn't unrealistic at all. All you have to do is starve yourself for 3 moons and photoshop your Instagram photos. If you do this, you can Run the World, and totally promote a healthy way of life.

Well, that's all for Dear Abby this week. Tune in next Thursday for more sound advice.

*I actually love Beyonce. No shade. Sorry