Thursday, December 3, 2015

Assignment 13 -- Andrew Thompson

*ATTENTION* - Tonight's "video game bonfire" has been postponed.

     Unfortunately, due to unforeseen scheduling conflicts with the next PTSA meeting, we have been forced to postpone tonight's bonfire. I know we all have been looking forward to dousing our children's video games in gasoline and lighting them on fire to banish them from this realm once and for all, but that will have to wait. For now, in order to protect our innocent and wholesome children, we suggest storing these demon spawns in a secure location. For example, I have hidden these nefarious articles in my husband's gun cabinet, out of the reach of my little sweetie.
     I would like to also take this time to remind all of you that the corruption of your child is in no way your fault. Who could have known that these "games" were filled with these unholy subject matters? They are filled with guns, explosions, and "cartoon mischief." When my poor son asked me to buy these games for him, who knew that you could turn the case over and see a rating system, describing the horrid content of these things? We are all in the same boat, and I can assure you all that you did everything in your power to ensure that these games would not taint the souls of our beloved children.
     And lastly, to all your corporation reaping in this dirty money from these poor young minds, I am done being civil. Put this on the record, I hope you get stabbed and have salt/lemon juice poured into the wounds. You have turned our little angels into monsters, and I hope you realize all the lives you have permanently ruined.
     Also, parents, please give any feedback on the structure of our organized riots. I strongly feel that taking a more vandalism would get our point across more effectively.

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