Assignment 6 -- Andrew Thompson

1.) You swerve to avoid a squirrel. Unknown to you, the squirrel pledges a life debt to you. In your darkest hour, the squirrel arrives.
2.) You get invited to join the pantheon of the gods, but only get an entry level position. What mundane, ordinary, every-day thing do you choose to be the god of?
3.) Nicolas Cage is completely unaware that he is an actor. To him, all of his movies have been real-life occurrences.

Day 13896: Continued writing my memoir today. I made good progress on the chapter where the world ends, but got caught up on whether or not I should set aside a whole chapter on me and my daughter Hit-Girl's adventures or just mention my night job as Big Daddy on the cover flap. Will update soon.
Day 13898: My agent called me today about the memoir. He didn't take too kindly too it. He said something like "Nic, all of the events in your memoir are the plots from your movies." I didn't really know how to respond, let alone know anything about these "movies" so I was all like "What movies? What even are movies?" Believe it or not he was the one that was confused after he had just spurted this gibberish out to me. What a weirdo.
Day 14007: My agent is still trying to explain this movie thing to me. I mean, I know that these camera people have been following me around for a while, but I had never really known what they were doing. I am thinking about suing for stealing my likeness and using it in these "movies." My agent was like "Where do you think all of your money came from?" and I replied "I know where." He was like "Where, then?" and I told him "From when I found that national treasure." I mean, does he not keep up with current news at all?