Zombie Apocalypse 10) Alec Dupont

Finally a chance to air my thoughts on the zombie apocalypse.

First off, you need to set what type of zombie we have on our hands.For this little thought experiment I'll just assume we have walking dead zombies on our hands. Slow, travel in groups, attracted to noise. people become zombies soon after death.

SO the first thing you are going to need is a weapon. you might immediately think of a gun. That's a terrible idea. Remember how zombies are attracted to noise? You want something silent, a bow would be my personal preference, with a small sword for back up. it is both lighter and less messy than a gun, and also less likely to break. Your priority here isn't going around as Rambo killing every zombie your see. you want to survive long enough that the zombies decompose and humans can continue normal life.

Next you are going to need a mode of transportation. A bike is your best bet. They are reliable, and silent. They can go all terrain, and won't attract those pesky little zombies coming to mooch your flesh. Another key feature is that it does not require gasoline, which will run out almost immediately after the breakout occurs. you can just pedal by while all those other peasants are scrambling for gasoline. Mr. Behler knows what I'm getting on here. Bikes are the most effective form of transport in a zombie apocalypse.

your next objective is to obtain supplies. The beginning of the zombie apocalypse is crucial. Use what little gasoline you have to ferry large jugs of water to your base of operations. (a small tent in the woods, it is secluded and quiet, in the winter you will simply keep a fire going to stay warm) You will need to have lots of jugs of water to keep yourself hydrated until you find a permanent source of fresh water. all the supplies you need are at, you guessed it... Costco. Your one stop shop for bulk nonperishable food stuffs. your base of operations will be near your local Costco, so that you are never far away from your nearest 50 pack of Twinkies.

Now the final and most important thing, your companions. It is important that you travel with no more than one person. other people will simply weight you down. other people are simply a waste of food and oxygen, because lets face it, survival is a selfish quest. Your partner is only there to help you if you are sick. The more people that you have, the more likely you are to die at their hands.

That's the basics of what you need to know to survive the zombie apocalypse. its a simple process of stealthily avoiding all other zombies and people. In the end however, all your efforts are pointless. As the infrastructure collapses, all the worlds nuclear reactors will go into meltdown and the only life left will be cockroaches. Good luck.